Monday, February 28, 2011

Stupid Fish....

....as in: "Dumb Bass".....

Our Mr Genius, Supercat, is at it again. This time, he just got a little impatient, greedy, and too curious at the same time.

Every morning, I go out to the barn to be greeted by the wanna-be Lions. Sometimes, they meet me halfway across the yard, then race to be on the freezer in the feed room when I come through the door. I can hear them drop the 3-4 feet from the rafters and land on the defenseless freezer lid with a loud bang.

I don't know what is is with these creatures, they expect to eat more then twice a week. Every day, there they are, begging for food, and every morning I cave and give them some.

This endless yeowling and panhandling has GOT to stop....

At any rate, I grab some cat food from one of the freezers, and dump it in their pan.

It always reminds me of the referee at a hockey game tossing the puck into the middle of the face-off - those involved are already moving before the puck hits the ice. It's the same with cat food - they start chewing before it hits their lips.

At this point, I return to the freezer and fill a coffee can of dog food for Yani, and take it to her. After that, I'm ready for the Bovine to step up and be fondled.

Well - lately, my lovely wife has been re-arranging our pantry and getting rid of a few older jars of stuff. She came across about a half dozen jars of deer she canned in 2008. Since I'm not real fond of it, it would probably have sat on the shelf for several more years, had she not decided to get rid of it.

So, we slated it to go out to Yani for her suppers.

Yesterday morning is where Mr Genius stepped in.

I fed the cats their food, then opened the jar and dumped Yani's venison into her pan. As I came back through the feed room, I set the empty jar on top of the freezer away from the cats, then went about my milking.

About halfway into the first cow, I began to hear muffled, high pitched, meowing noises. Me, being deaf in one ear could HEAR them, but not distinguish WHERE they came from. Then, I heard a loud "THUNK".

I KNEW where THAT sound came from!

I looked over at the freezer, and spotted IQ Cat standing on his head - up to his shoulders in the jar. He wasn't STUCK in it, he just was stupid enough to get in, and too stupid to get out.

At this point, he flopped the thing over on it's side, and started thrashing about. He was getting dangerously close to the edge, so I had to act fast before I had glass all over the floor, and a bruised Brainiac.

I got there as quick as I could, then grabbed the jar. There was no way I was going to pull a crazed cat out of a fruit jar with bare hands, so I leaned on the glass with an elbow as I put my gloves back on.

I found out during this, that fruit jars act like a magnifying glass - the cat's eyes were - literally - as big as saucers. It was kind a neat effect, but one the cat (I'm sure) would not like to repeat.

Once gloved up, I successfully extradited the furr ball Mensa-member from his glass trap.

He spit, spat, hissed and howled, then ran off into the other part of the barn -
presumably so the other cats wouldn't think he was the stupid one.

It's a pretty sure bet, though....

They already know.

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