Thursday, February 28, 2008

My Chickens are Democrats!

I've come to the conclusion that chickens, at least mine, anyway, are Democrats!

I got to thinking about it the other day - it wasn't TOO hard to come to this conclusion. Since I make the rules for them around here, I get to be the "government". They, the "citizens" are subject to my "rule". Just like us, they squawk at things the government does, but can't do a thing about it.

If these birds were voting, they'd be Democrats. Here's why:

(1) PUBLIC HOUSING They're all for a nice place to live - COMPLETELY subsidised by the "government" (me). All they have to do is show up, prove they are a chicken, and they are immediately accepted into the "low income" coop. No homeless birds wandering around the farm living in cardboard boxes.

(2) FOOD SUBSIDIES PROGRAM Well, OK, FREE food. They gobble all they can and want more. They DO receive a "tax" for this program, but it is carefully hidden by the government. I receive a daily surcharge of eggs from the coop as a whole. They haven't made the connection - YET.

(3) GOVERNMENT HANDOUTS Even if they just finished breakfast, they follow me around like groupies, looking for handouts. Chickens ALWAYS have their hands out (wait.....do they actually have HANDS?....). They continually want anything that the government is willing to give away. Some days they make out, some days they get nothing and go away grumbling.

(4)ALL SERVICES ARE PROVIDED In addition to free food and housing, they receive
free heat in winter (heat lamp in the coop), free cooling in summer (I open up the windows), free water, free bed (roost), a "deluxe" bed for those who desire (nest). They even have free sewage and garbage removal.

(5) FREE UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE Pretty much says it all. The government covers the entire cost of this program.

(6) FREE "RETIREMENT" SHHHHH! DON'T LET THEM KNOW WHAT THIS PROGRAM REALLY IS! So far, they've seen the axe, but aren't sure what it is! Rest assured, they end up in a nice warm (wink, wink......) place to spend their remaining time.

(7) "A CHICKEN IN EVERY POT" OK, so they aren't real crazy about this one. They ARE however, trying to "change" this to a "turkey" in every pot. Those fat turkeys eat WAY to much of their free food anyway....

(8) FREE CHILD CARE Not QUITE what they expected, but tasty none the less.....

I am sure there are more, but, you can see that they are definitely leaning to the left in their thinking.

There IS one other reason why I think they'd be voting Democrat in this election. Every time I go near the coop, I hear them rallying inside. I SWEAR I hear them chanting:

"BA-RACK! BA-RACK! BARACK!"

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