Al Gored....

Well not really GORED, but it COULD have been ugly.....

I survived a goat attack with just a minor scratch on......how did Forrest Gump put it?

My But-tocks......



Maybe it was because they were mad at us moving them to the barnyard yesterday. It could be because they don't like staring at the cows across the fence now (and they had to run by them to get to the barn). I'm not sure WHY they felt they had to do it, I just know it happened.....

There I was, going about the business at hand - feeding the very monsters that attacked me. I am the "bringer of grain and hay" and even those tasty corn stalks. Not matter - goats don't think like that - they have a "what have you done for me, lately" attitude, and aren't above "biting the hand that feeds" them.

Anyway, I was heading out behind the barn to deliver the morning goods. I usually straddle the trough so I can dump the bucket as I move backwards. I didn't get that far today.

Bunny - who HAS to be a relative of that psycho cat - decides she wants to stand up and stick her nose in the bucket. Now, usually, I am ready for such shenanigans but, this time THEY were ready for ME.

As Bunny occupied my attention, two of her co-conspirators snuck in behind me.

It was the old trick where one of your buddies gets down on all fours behind you while another one pushes you from the front.....

Yup.

Still works.

Bunny stopped nosing the bucket and put her front feet on my chest and SHOVED. I figured out what was happening, but too late - I'd done been had. I did the proverbial "ass over teakettle" thing. The GOOD part of this is that I landed on a couple goats, so the ride to the ground was pretty easy and even soft. I even managed to save the bucket of grain.

The BAD news was, when I landed, only ONE of the goats got out from under me -
Romper still had her head attached to my hind-end.

Now - There I was - laying on the ground with a goat's head up my butt. I pulled, she pushed, I pushed, she pulled. Neither one of us could get loose. The spot where we landed is on a slope of dirt, so my head was downhill, making it even MORE difficult to break loose. I tried rolling sideways, but that didn't work either.

I could reach behind me and feel her horn going in the "big" rip in the photo, and the tip was coming out the small hole. It was a deal where she had to push and pull at the same time to get free. Try explaining THAT to a goat.

I distinctly remember seeing two vehicles going by on the road while I was laying like this (about 4-5 minutes apart...). I just hope they couldn't see what was taking place, and glad they didn't stop to render aid....

The odd thing was - the other goats just stopped, stood, and stared - nobody went for the bucket I had let go of, nobody even MOVED.

They were probably holding back laughter....

Since the wind was blowing from the north - the side of the barn we were on - and the windchill was right at 17° - time was becoming a factor. I figured that the goat under my rear was also getting tired of the "SIT" uation (sorry, bad pun, but I HAD to...), and would probably begin thrashing in short order.

I HAD to get out of there SOON - it was starting to get cold (well, at least PART of me had something warm to rest on...), and I didn't like the pictures forming in my mind concerning thrashing goat horns and their location. It had been about 10 minutes and well past time for doing something.

Somehow, since great minds think alike, we both decided to tug in opposite directions at the same time. A mighty heave, a couple of twists, and a hearty shove, and we suddenly found ourselves apart.

I got up, grabbed the bucket, and filled the trough.

Everyone held their ground for a few seconds, then dove into the grain like nothing happened.

As I walked away - as soon as I was out of sight - I SWEAR I heard snickers. If you've ever heard a goat laugh, then you never forget the sound.

I left them to their breakfast and hobbled back to the house to have mine....

...and to change my pants.

Goofball The Cat......

A few days ago, I told you about the cat doing a "bonsai" off the roof of the flyway for the pigeons. Today, she was back in action.

Since the flyway for the birds is 99% complete (a few "odds-n-ends" are left, but it was ready for them to explore), we decided that today would be the day that we open the window, and let the birds fly around in the sunshine. They were cooped up in their "inside" house long enough, it was time for some fresh air.

Pest decided that she wanted to see what these new fowl were, so she tried to climb the screen.



I might need to give her a quick refresher course on what curiosity does to a cat....

After taking a few photos, we decided to leave for a bit, and see if the pigeons would explore on their own. I came back about 15 minutes later to find someone ELSE trying to investigate our feathered friends:



I think she was embarrassed that I caught her *ahem* red PAWED. She stood there, staring at me for a few seconds, then moved toward the corner so she could climb down.
I have NO idea what route she took to get UP to her perch, but she had an interesting time getting DOWN.

The first few feet were easy - the post was wooden, so her claws could dig right in.



At this point, she is about 6' off of the ground, and looking for an easy way down.
Unfortunately, she rarely does things the easy way....



Ms Crazy Cat started sliding down the tin, frantically trying to find something for her back feet to catch hold of. Not having any luck, she managed to pull herself back up - only to try again to dig into the tin with her back claws. It wasn't working too well for her, but it DID make an incredible sound as she scraped the tin faster and faster, in hopes of getting a foothold.

I guess she was getting tired, because she let herself slide all of the way down as far as she could reach. Her back feet were still about 4' in the air.



Just when I thought she'd let go and slide all the way down, she did a half pull-up, then swung herself over to a 2x4 that was leaning against the wall - BARELY in her reach.



From there, is was simple to just "let go" and end her ordeal. It probably didn't help her to hear me laughing at her predicament, either. I got a good scowl as she walked away toward the barn.

It seems that it is never-ending with this cat....just about everyday she comes up with something completely different.

Hopefully, she will be around to entertain us for a long, long time....

Cold Turkey...

This past Thursday was Thanksgiving (in case you didn't know....). We spent it here on Hillbilly Hill - just the two of us, for a change. It was a nice alternative to the hectic traveling of years passed.

It was also a pretty nice day outside (albeit, a bit windy). I didn't get much DONE outdoors - in the morning, I made the Dressing for dinner, and I was too stuffed to do much afterwards.

Deb made the pies, an apple for us both, a Custard for me and a Pumpkin for her.

She hates Dressing, so I get it all, and I hate Pumpkin Pie, so she can have all of that nasty stuff.

It was a wonderful meal, but it didn't go off without it's "glitches".

Deb was working hard at making sure everything was in the oven on time, and done by noon(ish).

Fruit salad was done, Four Cup Salad was done (would have been FIVE cup, but no marshmallows....), olives (both kinds) were opened, The homemade butter was shaped like a Turkey...



The potatoes were mashed, gravy was thickened, two kinds of cranberry sauce was readied, Sweet Potatoes (all for me...) were done, wine was in the fridge, dinner rolls were done, and the turkey was.......

WAIT...

WHERE'S THE TURKEY?

Here we are, a few minutes from eating, and the turkey wasn't even THOUGHT of! We had roasted and taken it off the bones on Tuesday, and it was still sitting in it's comfy little dish in the refrigerator - waiting to be put in the oven for Thanksgiving Dinner. Everything ELSE was ready, so it was too late to go in the oven.

I still can't believe she FORGOT the turkey! Here she was, with a list on the counter of things to get done for dinner. I saw her go through the list on several occasions, mentally checking things off as she went down the page.

We MIGHT need to check her glasses....TURKEY was the FIRST thing on the list.....

Oh well - thank God for microwave ovens....

...and it was pretty good dead bird, when we finally got it.

Yesterday was an unusually warm day for late November. It was in the upper 60's to lower 70's in the area - and little wind. I accomplished a little, but the day after Thanksgiving is reserved for Nebraska Football, so I spent the afternoon watching the game. I DID manage to sneak out to the barn at halftime to see what everyone was up to.

I walked into the milk room and found that our yellow cat (we call her "The Pest" because she is learning ways to be devious from Tractor Buddy) curled up in a plastic bag full of folded rags I had on the milk stand.



She looked REALLY comfy laying there in the sunshine on her soft bed (Mabel's Curry Comb, not withstanding...). It wasn't long after, that "Tippy" came to see if she'd share.



Tippy (named for a YELLOW tip on her tail...) just stood there, trying to be nonchalant about the situation. She even tried the old - "*SIGH* I wish I had a nice soft bed, too"....bit.

It didn't work...

The Pest opened one eye, gave a short "Try it and die" growl, and adjusted her position in the bag to get even more comfy.



A dejected Tippy decided that discretion was the better part of valor, so she hopped down and sat on the concrete floor, looking forlorn:



I'd imagine that being the same age as The Pest, and only about half her size, had something to do with influencing her decision....

Either way, we still have all four cats, and there was no squabbling over a comfy spot to take a nap.

The best part of the day was about mid afternoon when Deb, in a frantic moment, remembered that she "forgot to get something out for supper".

Good thing we had all that cold turkey and leftovers in the fridge....

Bonzai Cat...

First off, let me remind you that we have an odd-ball (or GOOFBALL...) cat living here. She's at least 2/3 hillbilly and the rest is some sort of psychotic dare-devil, clown mix.

Whatever her genetic history, she thinks she owns the farm.



Notice her faithful side-kick following along behind her...

I also want to reiterate that I'm about 95% deaf in one ear. This makes it hard to tell where sounds are coming from. The cat can hear perfectly well, however. I know this because every time I say something to it (usually to ask "WHAT the HECK are you DOING?"...), she gives me a dumb look.

This is the same cat that rode on the top of the car out to get the mail. A few days later, she rode on the pickup cab for the 1/2 mile plus ride to the neighbor's house. She is also the same, abnormal feline that stayed on the roof of the car for a wild ride into town a few weeks ago. I pulled up to a stop sign on the town square, and she came bounding down the windshield like nothing was wrong. Scared the you-know-what outta me....

Three miles of highway speeds and I still had a cat on the roof. I HAD wondered about the odd looks I was getting from people, but I'm getting used to those, so didn't think too long on it.

I have driven off with her IN the pickup, too. I was half-way to town one day, when she came leaping up from the back seat.

More you-know-what scared outta me...

Odd, though, when she IS inside the vehicle, she sits on my lap and watches out the window like a dog.

It took a bit but, I finally have learned to make SURE the genius goofball is not on, in, or NEAR the vehicle when I am leaving. I try to make sure I can see her walking toward the barn before I take off. That way, I'm reasonably sure she will stay behind.

She's good at coming up with new, different, and exciting things to do. She's taking a liking to running the rafters in the barn again, and batting me in the head. It's been awhile, but this was big-time fun last spring - she gave it up for Lent, I guess.....

This evening, during milking, I saw Mabel "flinch". I couldn't see anything from where I was at but, I KNEW one of the cats was the cause. Seeing nothing amiss, I continued my milking. When we finished, I got up and went to unlock Mabel's headstall. Who do you think I found sitting on top of the stanchion?

With me out trying to get my "Bird Cage" built, Miss Nutcase has decided to inspect every phase of the operation (and even bring along her "side-kick" to help).

Her and her helper would climb on the thing, run across the roof, jump through nailers, and just have a good old time using my half done bird cage as their own personal "Jungle Jim".

This was fine, until I started to put up "chicken wire". THAT development led to a few "interesting" moments until they figured it out....

Since I wanted part of the cage to be shaded, I covered the first 6' of the roof with tin - the rest in wire. This past weekend, I finished putting the tin on and was catching up on a few "loose ends", like picking up the pile of scrap wood I created during the project.

I was milling about, picking up wood, cleaning up my "work bench" (an old calf waterer, turned upside-down...), dodging goats, etc - when I heard this odd, metallic scraping noise.

Since I only use one ear, I had NO idea that the cat was plotting again.

I looked at the goats, figuring that they were messing with a sheet of tin I had nearby, but they were all looking at me, dumbfounded. I even took a quick glance at the Turkeys to see if THEY were up to something.

Nope

I SHOULDA known.

I finally figured out where the sound was coming from - the roof of the bird cage...

As soon as I zeroed in on the sound, I also zeroed in on the cause - Miss Psycho Kitty was up on the tin roof and sliding down the slope. I couldn't help myself - I turned my head skyward.....

....just in time to see a white furr-ball flying over the edge of the roof and heading straight for me. I had just enough time to turn and duck, otherwise, she'd have hit me in the head. Instead, she bounced off my back, then hit the ground running.

She must have taken it well, because 5 minutes later she was back playing Jungle Jim, albeit - NOT on the tin roof.

I'm thankful nobody got hurt - it could have been ugly....

I'm also thankful that SHE didn't have the you-know-what scared out of her as she left the roof.....

Chick Magnet.....

Two or three years ago, I found myself at a local auction bidding on a few almost new, plastic "Sow Feeders". These are the blue poly ones that are designed to let the momma pig "feed" herself by nosing a set of flat rings to dispense food.

I wanted them to hold salt blocks for the goats. I have two of them set up to do just that, and they work rather well.

They sell for around $110, new, I thought I did rather well at $1 each.....

I have the "extra" ones sitting in the barn in "obvious" places. I have even made sure that there is hay in them in hopes of enticing a wayward hen to lay her eggs there.

So far, out of the untold months of trying, I have found only 3 eggs in them. I guess the hens don't like blue. I had almost given up on them ever being used as a nest.

Maybe - like they say in the Real Estate world - it's "location, location, location"... They just didn't like where I had them put. One of them was in my way last month, so I picked it up, and set it on top of my New Holland baler. I didn't even bother to stand it upright, I just let it lay on it's back. I didn't give it another thought for about a week...

Shortly afterwards, I noticed one of my Black Maran hens went missing. I lost track of her for several days. One night, while finishing things up in the barn, I happened to check the Blue Feeder "nest" on the top of the baler. I was shocked and amazed that there was - not only eggs - but my missing hen sitting on them!

I tried not to disturb her very much, I figured I'd have the chance to "snoop" when she got nice and settled in - then I'd be able to lift her up (amid a few hand pecks) - and count my chicks before they hatched.

After checking on her every day for a week, one morning I saw her jump off the nest and run outside to eat with the rest of the vultures. Taking my opportunity, I grabbed a flashlight and went over to see how many she had under her. I was expecting 5 or 6 - MAYBE 7.

Imagine my eyes when I counted TWENTY-TWO eggs in the nest! Normally, that many won't even FIT under a hen - and this hen wasn't a huge lady, either!

She came back into the barn at that point, so I figured I better skedaddle before she got mad. I had my info, at any rate.

Since I didn't know how long EXACTLY she was missing, nor how long she was on the nest, I didn't know when the chicks were due. The waiting game was on.

Every day, I'd check on her status, then walk away wondering when, When, WHEN?

When the 21st day arrived, I was outside the maternity ward, pacing the halls, waiting for the "birth"....

I FINALLY had my answer starting two days ago --

ONE lousy chick hatched - and it died before it got dried off. I hoped that the rest of them weren't duds.

Over the course of the next day and a half, a grand total of 13 more hatched out.

Today, I moved them to a different tub, in a different building so it would be easier to feed them and have a heat lamp to keep them warm. You can see 11 of them in this photo:



Mom was trying hard to teach them to eat, but she kept picking up kernels of corn. The chicks would look at her, look at the kernel, peck it, and look at mom as if to say "You expect us to eat THAT?

We've also had our first Squabs born here! I can't get a photo of them because of where the nest is, but there are two little fat, UGLY baby Pigeons in the box. It is really amazing how something that is SOOO ugly when little can turn into something so beautiful when it is an adult.

I am slowly getting the "bird cage" flyway done for them. I made sure and upheld my reputation as a Hillbilly, and used shelves from old refrigerators, ranges and freezers in parts of it. Only half of the roof will be tin, the other half will get wire so the birds can get more light, but have a little shade.

This homemade door is made out of 1x6 boards and 4 refrigerator shelves:



I'm just trying to do my part in keeping property values low....

Having all of these babies around helps keep a person young. And -- just to prove a point --



I can still pick up chicks.......

Sign Language.....

Ever notice how animals give us signs for what they want? Some of them UNDERSTAND English better then a few people I know - they just can't SPEAK it.

Autumn, one of our Dachshunds, lets us know she wants a "goodie" by sneezing and pointing to where she knows they are stored. She doesn't always get one, but it's not for lack of trying....Rascal likes to get out of bed in the morning and expect fresh milk in his dish. The first thing he does is stick his nose inside the pan, then snort loudly and give a huff if he finds it empty.

With cats, it can be hard to tell EXACTLY what they are up to, just watch the tail twitch - you can bet they're going to be doing SOMETHING soon. Of course, cats don't use "body" language a lot, they just stand by the feed pan and yeowl....

Goats - they can be pretty vocal at times, but they are also good at "pointing" at what they want or gesturing about what they're after. Take hay for instance - this requires feet on the gate, nose sticking through the wire and a low, mournful (VERY mournful...) Baaaaaaaa......then pointing to the stack with your nose.

Grain is different. This requires pushing your nose through said gate (or fence) as far as you can, then licking the air with your tongue as fast as you can.

They are NOT amused when I reach out and rub a tongue with my fingers....This brings out a TOTALLY different type of gesture...

Sometimes, they just look at you and STARE.....



In THIS particular instance, Showgirl is trying to tell me that their corn stalk supply is running low....

Since Mabel and her charges have arrived, I've been able to pick up on a few things cows do. One, for instance, is that poor, pitiful look on their long faces when I'm late with the corn stalks. They stand by where I usually put them and stare, longingly at the house. Sometimes, they see the pickup coming down the driveway, and they head to the stalk feeder, only to be disappointed when it doesn't stop.

Ever seen a grown cow cry?

I have......

Lately, Mabel has been taking to letting me know she wants more grain on the milk stand. She will sniff, snort and swing her head at me. When she knows she has my undivided attention, she snorts and points with her nose to the recently emptied pan. She repeats as necessary until I give her some more grain.

In the past few days, when I unlatch the stanchion, she looks over her shoulder at me, then points to the pan, as if to say "Just ONE more bite...?". Sometimes, I give in....

She's addicted to alfalfa pellets...

Mabel is also a "wienie" cow - she HATES to be out in the rain or snow. I watched out the window yesterday during the rain and snow we had. Chuck, the Blind Guy was out in the weather, happily munching away at the hay in the feeder while Mabel and Belle stood in the hut thinking he was nuts. He won in the end, though - by the end of the day, he went back to the hut to sleep it off while the other two went hungry.

For our morning milking, it was difficult getting Mabel to leave the dry confines of her hut, to make the trek to the barn. I stood in the back doorway of the barn like normal, bucket of grain in my hand. I rattled the bucket and called Mabel. Normally, she hears grain, and comes up the hill and into the barn.

Not this time. She looked at me over the fence, shook her head, snorted and pointed to the hut beside her.

She wanted ME to COME TO HER with breakfast! I told her, "No, it doesn't work like that! YOU come HERE..."

It reminded me of that Bill Cosby skit....."Here is HERE...There is THERE....You come HERE....."

She snorted again and repeated her pointing into the hut. I think she really thought I'd cave....Instead, I told her "FINE, you don't want breakfast - then I'm giving it to the goats!"

She gave me an evil stare, another snort, then trudged out into the rain.....

I guess it's a good thing cows don't have middle fingers....

"Deerly" De-parted..

Deer Season (rifle, anyway...) in Nebraska, opened up this past Saturday (14th of November). Already, we have 4 tasty deer in our freezer. We don't let them hang to spoil the taste, we just process them right off, and into the freezer or jars, they go.

Nothing better the FRESH meat, be it deer, chicken, turkey, or cow.

This also means that the dogs, cats, and birds, are also getting some much needed "fat" in their diet for the coming winter. We clean up the deer carcases as best we can, then toss them out for everyone to enjoy.

We've found out, over the years, that chickens are the best at cleaning up a pile of bones. They will pick (or is that PECK....?) one side of a ribcage clean in just a couple of days, then I roll it over so they can work on the other side. The two LGD guard dogs will work on them for awhile, then leave it for something else, only coming back when they HAVE to.

With 4 deer (and more on the way), you have a LOT of "left over" scraps. Right now, even the little piggy Dachshunds are getting tired of deer. When we brought the first deer into the house, Rascal was right under foot, waiting for handouts. If one missed the bucket (accidentally or on purpose...), he'd snag it up in a second! He'd even "sneak" over and get the ones hanging on the rim of the bucket. He figures that if they are within reach, and hanging on the outside of the bucket, then they WANT him to get them.

Now, he comes to get a couple pieces, then goes back to bed in hopes of sleeping it off before Thanksgiving.....

The vultures.....er....chickens, are a little more bold. They don't worry about the "sneak" part - they come right out and EXPECT you to toss them something. One of the first things I do when skinning a deer, is cut off the front legs and toss them aside for the chickens. That way, they bother THEM, and not ME.

I tossed some scraps in with the turkeys and guineas - I even set a few pieces of fat in for the pigeons to tear up. Everyone was fat, dumb, and happy - especially FAT.

The LGD's told the goats that they were "on their own" for a few days. All either of them wanted to do was lounge around. They were even too lazy to come out of the small shed (which they are RARELY in...) to get more food. At first, they were guarding the bones, even from the pesky goats. Now, they'd let even the goats have at them. I think they are HOPING somebody steals them.

The cats get to dive into the pile I leave for the chickens. It's always interesting to see a cat trying to stand their ground, surrounded by hungry cat-killing birds - you're never QUITE sure who's gonna win. The cat pounces on the scrap, but can only defend against so many beaks at the same time. I usually give in and take some inside the barn especially for the cats - that way, they only need to growl at each other...

Since it was dark, cold, and raining last night when we finished up working on deer, I set the two scrap buckets in the back of the pickup. Everyone was tucked into their beds, anyway, so I figured to save it for morning. When morning came, after chores, I dumped the buckets in the usual spots so they could be devoured. I was surprised when only 3 chickens came over to eat.

On an ordinary day, The cats gather on a table by one of the freezers I store food in. Today was no different, in that respect. They gathered and watched me get food for Mabel, the dogs, the goats, and the two calves out of the freezers. I TOTALLY forgot to feed the kitties.....

It wasn't until about half way through milking that I looked up, and saw the four cats piled on the table, waiting for food. Very apologetically, I got up, opened the freezer, got my scoop full of cat food, and dumped it into their pan. The expected "feeding frenzy' was a total dud. NONE of the cats even LOOKED at the pan. All were still Stuffed to the gills with deer.

I even had some fresh deer for breakfast. I had homegrown eggs, fresh deer, homemade butter, and homemade bread.

We are still expecting 2-3 more deer this season, but what we have is a great start.

Our freezer is filling up, and so are our animals......