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Thursday, June 11, 2009

Barnyard Justice....

Well yesterday was the start of the "trial".....

Not just an ordinary trial - of course, this was no ordinary courtroom.
The jury consisted of a troupe of Cool "Cats" who have an attention span of a few seconds. The defendant declined an attorney, instead deciding to represent herself (in the end, this was not a wise move...). The head "prosecutor" (myself) was also the "judge".

The gallery of onlookers included quite a few chicken hearted individuals...

This is Bunny (her name remained the same because she is DEFINITELY guilty...):

Mother And Child

Her "accomplice" is also shown in this surveillance photo.

His name - since he is a minor - will not be published. He will be referred to as "Billy the Kid".

The whole mess is one that revolves around behavior. The behavior of a certain Miss Bunny while being milked.

As in most trials, this defendant was called to take the "stand". She did so VERY reluctantly (I swear I heard the bailiff bribe her with a deal for grain....). I labeled her as a definite "Hostile Witness".

She had to be forced into a headlock and restrained, just to get her to semi-cooperate.

I could tell by the way she acted that this was not going to be easy. She fidgeted, stomped and made funny noises while on the stand.

She must have been carrying a bag of black Jelly Beans because, before I could start, they spilled all over the stand. Court had to be delayed a few minutes while they were cleaned up.

(The defendant was warned that any more such delays would prove detrimental to her cause, and only lengthen her time on the stand.)

Exhibit "A", was brought in. This was a low plastic pan. The Jury immediately began to mutter. Evidently they recognised it as being taken from the Jury Room and belonging to them.

Exhibit "B" was produced. This being milk that had been proven - and admitted - to being owned by the defendant. Exhibit "B" was introduced into Exhibit "A".

It was at this point that things began to get out of hand....

The defendant became increasingly more agitated and attempted to kick Exhibit "A" (containing exhibit "B"...) off of the stand, thus spilling part of the contents. Only by use of quick hands, I managed to save most of the evidence.

This action caused the jury to stand and take notice of the milk on the floor. A bailiff was called to clean the mess up, but the jury consented to do it themselves.
It was a most unusual move but, then again, nothing about this trial could be considered "usual".

They DEFINITELY were NOT crying because of spilled milk....

Much to the defendant's dismay, more of exhibit "B" was produced.

At this point, she reluctantly relented, and no further outbursts on the stand were noted. Her restraints were released, and she was returned to her "holding cell", and she was even allowed to join the rest of the "population" out in the "yard".

It was sometime during this time frame - while the defendant was being removed from the stand - that the evidence disappeared from exhibit "A". While it is not known for sure, the entire jury is suspect for it's sudden and complete disappearance.

They wouldn't admit it, but those "Cheshire Grins" told a different story.

While in the yard, the defendant was rejoined by her accomplice - Billy the Kid. It is unknown what conversation these two shared but, it was almost certainly involving her treatment and milk.

Billy the Kid will be indicted on several counts of "Destroying Evidence", "Obstruction of Justice" and "Witness Tampering" - based on this surveillance photo (and others).

I NEED relief!!

Unfortunately, his status as a minor shields him from prominent prosecution.....

Thus far the trial has gone better than hoped. When the witness was asked to take the stand once again this morning, things went smoother. There was one small outburst, but it was quickly subdued. The defendant behaved much better while on the stand - however, as a precaution - she was placed in a neck restraint to help prevent any such bad behavior.

One thing is certain -

The jury is paying more attention...

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