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Sunday, November 8, 2009


Khan Noonien Singh (of Star Trek fame...) said it best: "Revenge is a dish best served cold...."

Well, it wasn't exactly COLD, but -

This morning I made my usual trek out to the barn to fondle the cow. Like normal (except for a couple of days when she was on a "stubborn streak"..), Mabel was waiting to get in for breakfast.

Also - like normal - the 4 cats were waiting for THEIR breakfast.

Normally, I feed them as I'm getting food for Mabel. They can't stand being only a few inches away from food and not being able to get it, so they start the morning yeowl. This morning, they were particularly adamant about eating. When I opened up the chest freezer with food in it, they started to dive in.

They are usually better behaved then that, but sometimes a "refresher course" in table manners is called for.

I ain't no Emily Post, but I have my own standards and training methods for "Cat Etiquette".

Two of my greatest Cat "Pet" peeves are: (1) Don't get on/near the milk stand when the goat or cow is on it, (2) Don't get in my way when I'm trying to feed you, or anyone else, and (3) (I never could count) Don't sneeze on the dogfood.

Number 1 was an up hill battle with only minimal retraining required, although there are "backslidings".

Number 2 usually is real good for awhile, then slowly builds until a day of MASSIVE retraining.

Three is an ongoing, daily battle.....I think the dogs are getting used to the added "flavor"....

On this particular occasion, all it took was a single arm swipe to clear the top of the freezer, and send the cats to the floor. Two got the message right off, but the other two required a repeat....

Things settled down enough for me to get Mabel in the stanchion, feed the calves, and get ready to milk. That is when the REAL trouble started.

I guess they were mad at me for the arm swipe - I dunno. Whatever the root cause, three of the four fur monsters were constantly bothering me, Mabel, or both all the while.

I was THIS close to having BBQ'ed cat for lunch......

I caught one trying to get into the milk bucket (included in sub-paragraph "b" of Pet Peeve number 1...), while another was tickling Mabel's leg while trying to lap up a few drops of milk that missed the pail. The third one was trying to get into the bucket of warm water I use to wash Mabel down with.

I ended up halting my cow draining and putting a stop to the madness. All three felines were unceremoniously tossed out the front door.

I didn't see them again until I was done and headed for the house.

After feeding the goats in the other pasture, and straining the milk, I headed back to the barn to get feed for the fowl. I hadn't even given the events of earlier another thought.

Grabbing a bucket, I stopped by the wagon in the barn, and filled it with corn, then made my way through the feed room and into the milk room.

THAT'S when the morning's events came screaming back to me.

Every milking, there is always a small puddle on the floor for the cats. They (USUALLY) wait patiently for Mabel to leave, then clean it up.

The puddle was cleaned up, alright. Left in it's place were two HUGE cat turds - all in one pile....

I guess they weren't happy with their "retraining".....

Sometimes, Revenge is a dish best served hot and steaming.....

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