Friday, January 29, 2010

Near Death Experience

There was no "blinding white light", no singing of Angels, no nothing - at least as far as I'M concerned.

I wasn't the one who had the experience, though, it was Pest, the Cat.

In one of the rooms in my barn, I have a couple of old freezers that I use to store bagged food in. Cat food, dog food, cow food, goat food - it's all in there, waiting for hungry critters to devour.

Each freezer is 48" long, 30" wide, and 42" tall, and are really not that old. They were given to me by a cousin a couple years ago. They are the "energy efficient" models, so the "body" isn't that thick, which allows for more room on the inside. Neither works, but they come in handy for what I need them for.

I have them set up in my "Feed Room" so that they face each other, with a gap of about 40" between them.

It was this gap that, ultimately, nearly did in the cat.

My morning routine varies slightly from day to day, but it is pretty much the same thing, day after day. Feed the critters, milk the cow, etc, etc, etc. When I am done with everyone's breakfast, I put all of the buckets on one freezer to await the next round.

Usually, the last thing I do is feed the feather bunch, return the empty bucket to the barn, grab the milk bucket from the hook, and head for the house.

NOTE - I hang the bucket of milk from a hook in the ceiling to keep "inquiring minds" from investigating.....

When I feed the fowls, I use a particular bucket - and old galvanized metal one, complete with brazed holes in the bottom. It holds the right amount of food, and feels "farmish" when I use it, not like the modern plastic buckets.

At any rate, I fed the vultures, escaped with my life, and headed toward the barn to take the bucket back.

I guess the timing was "PURR-fect" today. Pest had launched herself from one freezer toward a hopeful soft landing on the other one, just as I reached around the corner of the doorway to the feed room with the bucket in my hand, and set it down on the nearest freezer.

Just as the bucket touched down, and before my fingers began to let loose of the handle, I heard a loud "CLANG".....

I turned my head just in time to see our genius yellow Tabby cat, slide down the imaginary cliff face, and hit the floor. It happened EXACTLY like you see in the cartoons. Everything stops for a second or two, then time resumes with the victim heading toward the ground.

The cat hit the floor with a thud (she DID land on her feet, though...), stood there for a few seconds, then shook herself off and calmly walked out of the room.

One minute she's soaring through the air, free as a bird, then, in an instant, somebody sticks a bucket in her flight path, and she has a midair "crash and burn" collision.

Maybe it wasn't a "near death" experience, I don't know. It could be that our Pest only has 8 lives left. Only time will tell. We DO know she has impeccable timing.

I'm not sure how the cat FELT afterwards but - one thing is for sure.....

She looked a little "pail".


  1. "A pun is the lowest form of humor" Oscar Levant



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