Thursday, August 26, 2010

No Bull - REALLY....

We've had Mabel for almost a year now. She came to us bred (hopefully) to a Guernsey Bull - albeit - through "AI".

For those of you who don't know what "AI" is - it the process of humiliation where the "AI Tech" puts on the full length shoulder gloves (BOTH arms...), and dives in - literally. One arm goes up "where the sun don't shine" (only it DOES shine on that part of a cow....), and the other, along with a long metal tube, is inserted into "other" places. This tube contains the "bull juice".

Now, having been kept at temps WELL below zero for who knows how long, these bovine "egg chasers" are probably happy about getting to someplace warm. Once put in the right place, the tech removes the rod, both of their arms, then lights a cigarette for the cow and takes your check.

All this has to be PERFECTLY timed - and that's the responsibility of the guy who owns the cow. The Tech is there for one thing only. If you're off on your observations, then you just had your cow violated for nothing, and spent the fee so the Tech can eat, while you can't.

The whole process starts when you see the cow butting heads and romping with the others (even other females) in the pasture. It's not like it's an every day occurrence (RIGHT), so it's EASY to spot (RIGHT).

Anyway, by the end of last January, it was becoming apparent that Mabel's "appointment" with he AI tech was all in vain - she wasn't pregnant. It took a blood test to prove it, but we found out for sure that way.

We had decided on a blood test because Mabel does NOT like trailers. When we picked her up to bring her home, it took three people pushing, and one pulling on a rope to get her into it for the ride to her new home. Since we don't have extra help, it wasn't looking good for the Hillbillies on finding out if the AI we did in APRIL of this year did any good.

It costs too much to have the Vet come out to check, and Mabel is a "homebody".

A couple of weeks ago, I parked our "one-horse" trailer out in the cow's pasture so they'd have to walk around it to come in from their day in the field. I wanted them to get used to - at least - being on the OUTSIDE of the thing. Yesterday, I backed it into the gate by the barn, and set up a panel so Mabel didn't have anywhere to go BUT inside it.

She knew she was trapped, but by that time, it was too late, she'd been snookered into walking into something she couldn't get out of - she was loaded in the trailer for the trip to see the Vet.

The GOOD thing about our trailer - other than it was free - is that it's just wide enough for a cow to stand in while she's being palpitated (another "shoulder glove" ordeal...). This makes it MUCH easier, since we don't have to unload Mabel, put her in the squeeze chute, then load her up again. It's all quick and easy for us - and the Doc.

Well - he gets done with his "bidness", and pronounces her "Almost 5 months along". He's been around the block a time or two, and got this one REAL close, since we had her AI'ed on April 1st. Since it WAS the first of April, we were hoping that it wouldn't be an April Fool's joke, and that she "took" this time.

I asked him if it was a girl this time, and he said "Nope....another boy"

Lets hope he is wrong on that one - he was right with Daisy....

We got Mabel home, and let her out in the middle of the yard so she could go help Daisy mow. She seemed happy to be home - as far as we know, all of the last trailer rides Mabel has been on, she ended up at a different home than where she started. This was a whole new experience for her!

So - hopefully, if all goes well, sometime around the first week in January, we SHOULD have a new calf running around here.


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