The Differences Between Cats and Dogs...

This morning dawned nice, cold, and sunny. It was 11°, but it didn't FEEL that cold. As I milked the cows, I contemplated what tractor parts I could clean up next. It's still too cold to do much in the barn with the sand blaster, so it had to be small stuff I could take inside to clean. I settled on two small covers, and a retaining ring from the engine block.

All three pieces were caked with a nasty, black, oily, muck. Wire brushing just kind of smeared things around, and didn't do much. I had had them soaking in a pan of diesel for a few days - most of the stuff came off, but the rest was hanging on for dear life.

From past experience, I had learned that the "electrolysis solution" worked well in cleaning rust off parts with electricity - AND - it worked pretty good at cleaning "muck" from parts without electricity.

The only trouble was - it is still around freezing out there, and the stuff works WAY better when hot (or at least - warm).

So, I gets the bright idea to put the three small parts in a 2 gallon bucket, and bring them into the house. Along with the parts, I added about 1/4 cup of Arm & Hammer "Super Washing Soda", and a "squirt" of Dawn dish washing soap.

I let the water run nice and long to get it good and hot, filled my bucket, then left it in the deep sink in the laundry room.

My memory fades now, but I THINK it was only about 10 or fifteen minutes later when my lovely wife comes storming onto the back porch where I was working and wanted to know what "that AWFUL smell" was.

Me, being a guy, had NO CLUE what "awful" smell she was talking about. I held a tractor part out that I had primered a couple of hours before that for her "sniff test". She took in the aroma of fresh primer, and announced - "Possibly....".

I figured that the ordeal was over.

Not so, oh scent challenged one.....

A few minutes later, she asked AGAIN - with hands on hips while standing in the laundry room doorway - "WHAT IS THAT SMELL?"

I sucked in a good, deep breath through my nostrils, took both hands and wrangled my nose around good, then, using the knuckles on each index finger, "popped" both sides of my schnoz - all to "clear the air" so I'd get a good "intake" for identification purposes.

After "readjusting" my face a few times, I walked into the laundry room, concentrated heavily, and drew in several deep draws through my honker......

"WHAT smell?", asked I, " I don't smell a THING!"

By now my wife was reeling around, close to passing out, and had the neck of her shirt pulled up over her nose. She looked like an outlaw from the old west.

"Youf donmf smell thaf?", came the muffled response from her blouse.

"I don't smell a THING", I repeated.

I figured I better find the source soon, before she had me moving furniture or something, so I redoubled my efforts.

My first thought was the sink drain trap I had cleaned out earlier but, sadly, it was not the cause.

"It smells like GAS!" my wife exclaimed as she came up from her blouse for air, "and it's coming from THIS room, not the porch!" OK, this eliminated the primer...
The room was abuzz, the dogs were hid, and The Outlaw was poised to "shoot" me if I didn't think of something quick.

That's when I remembered the parts in the bucket. I went to the sink, grabbed the handle, and lifted the small bucket toward my wife's delicate nasal cavities...

"I DON'T NEED TO STICK MY NOSE IN IT!", came her reply, "Just get rid of it!"

So I quickly scrubbed and rinsed my parts, emptied the bucket, dried the parts, and set the empty bucket out on the porch.

Having never smelled the offending odor, I figured the ordeal was - FINALLY - over.

*SIGH*

All of a sudden, my wife comes in from the porch where she had been working and exclaims "NOW that smell is out HERE!"

I guess I'm gonna have to put that empty bucket outside...

Just shoot me now.....