Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Live, In Concert....

It's been a rough few days in the barn. Over the last weekend, we began to separate Clover at night so we have some milk in the mornings. This, of course, has led to dissension in the harmony of the barn...

The first night wasn't so bad - little Miss Clover is a gazelle, and hopped the fence to be back with her "moms" - and the free buffet snack bar. Not to be deterred, the next night, I planted the escape artist firmly in the barn.

The next morning, I found that the calf I put into the barn the night before was now a little "horse". Apparently she had hollered enough at night, that her voice was now low and gravely. It went from a kinda nice smooth Mariah Carey to a Barry White, over night.

Another consequence of my actions was the Three Bellering Mommies I found waiting for me the next morning.

I was being called every name they could think of - none of them good - on my way to the barn that morning. They were UPSET at me for locking THEIR child away from them at night. I'd imagine that this loud bellering had taken place most of the night - the goats were speechless and bleary-eyed. They probably gave up telling everyone to shut up long before I came out to feed them. I heard a beller or two from in the house during the night - but we're far enough away that it didn't keep us awake.

I was in trouble before I even left the house, though. The first thing my lovely wife said to me was "SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH THE COWS! They're hollering at something - all THREE of them!"

"Yup", I unconcernedly said.

"Aren't you gonna go check on them?"



"I'd imagine when they get their daughter back, they'll quit"

Maybe I should have told her that I was separating them at night.....
Oh well, live and learn.

At any rate, before I milked anybody, I hooked up her "leash" and took my dog out for the morning walk to the mailbox so the mailman wouldn't miss those important letters we had going out.

Clover and I headed up the drive in peace - until we were spotted. Then Holy Heck broke loose. All three moms came trotting across the pen to the fence to see where I was kidnapping their child to.

Twisting, turning, jumping, hollering, evil looks, more evil name calling, and desperate pleas for her return followed us up the drive. Two moms even braved the ice-cold semi-frozen, spring-like thawing creek we have going under the driveway.

The Plight of the Mommies

Mental note - cows are NOT happy when they have to dip their sensitive toes into ice water before breakfast....

They followed us up the drive, then back down - bellering all the way. Then, they saw me disappear back into the barn - without returning the youngin' to them! Not a happy deal for three over protective mothers.

The Plight of the Mommies

Clover was returned to her pen while I brought her moms in, one by one, to give up her food while she looked through the gate at us. One thing I now know - cow bellering turns a tin barn into an "amphitheater" when they turn up the volume once they get inside.

The goats, hoping I'd LEAVE the moms at the end of the driveway, started in with their hollerings of "SHUT UP!" and FEED ME!", adding their voices to the symphony.

With all this - Clover as lead singer, The Moms on backing vocals, cats on rhythm, Yani adding some "blues", and the goats filling in the harmony, it was like a concert in there, even the chickens and turkeys chimed in a few times.

They were just vying for top billing, though....

Once everyone was sufficiently fondled and drained, they were turned loose to return to the outside pen to await their child. I can tell a cow's priorities when I see them chomping on hay, while only passively remembering to beller for the baby with their mouth full of food.

I finally let the poor kid out of jail to be reunited with the walking lunchroom. Clover hesitated a second, trotted by me like I wasn't there, then kicked up her heels a few times as she zipped through the barn, and out the back door. She hit Daisy so hard that the impact actually shoved her sideways a step.

I guess the poor child was a BIT hungry.

I grabbed my milk bucket and headed back to the house, suddenly acutely aware that I could actually hear myself think again....


  1. This was so funny.... Thank you so much for taking the time to write all these posts out. It means so much to people like me... people who are stuck living in the city and who would love to live in the country. Perhaps one day, I too will have a concert in a barn. :D

  2. Dach, Get an Ezee wean halter, they work great for calves as well as foals.
    Copy and paste the link to see what they look like and let redneck technology take it's course.

    Crane Man sez hey !


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