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Friday, March 4, 2011

Grand Theft Auto

There I was, minding my own business, and my pickup nearly gets stolen right in front of me....

I know, it's a Ford, so I SHOULD be used to people wanting it, but they could at least do it behind my back when I'm not looking. Some people will do just about anything - and some are more bold than others.

It was a "broad daylight" heist, in a fairly crowded parking lot, at the local "farm and feed" type store. I was returning from an auction site, and stopped in to see if I could pick up chicks (the fuzzy yellow kind....).

I browsed around a few minutes, talked to the "chick guy" (the guy in charge of helping guys like me pick up chicks....), talked with a few neighbors I happened to see in the store, then headed out to the truck to finish the trip home - chickless because they didn't get any in like they said they would.

Being totally disappointed, I made my way to the door. On my trip to the front door, I noticed an elderly gentleman (probably a disguise to hide his deviousness), finish at the check-out, and begin wheeling his cart outside. I'd say he was about 20-30 feet ahead of me as the doors zipped shut behind him.

The thing I noticed first was him talking across the lot to a friend of his as he wheeled toward a shiny red Ford pickup in the lot. All of a sudden, it entered my beadie little mind - it was MY PICKUP he was heading to!

There was some doubt at first as to if it was my truck or not - I just couldn't believe what I was seeing, so I thought I was the insane one...However, I came to my senses just in time to see him open the driver side door and begin to empty his cart into the back seat.

The look of confusion that came across his face, when he realized that something was amiss, was priceless. By this time, I had reached earshot distance with him, so I said:

"I can pretty much GUARANTEE your key won't start this truck!"

He looked at me with a startled "hand in the cookie jar" look, mumbled something intelligible, then started to nervously scan the parking lot. It was amazing, but he actually gave a "scared jump" when he finally (after 30-40 seconds of scanning) spotted HIS shiny red Ford pickup, not 10' behind him.

"You can go ahead and drive it, as long as you fill the tank", says I.

"I got enough trouble filling my OWN tank", came the reply.

From 4-5 places around the lot came laughter, as the would-be car thief grabbed his stuff, wheeled around, and headed toward the right vehicle, muttering all the way.

I guess he was embarrassed to get caught - or at least be seen by so many people.

Maybe the experience will help him turn his life around, and get him onto the right path before it's to late.

1 comment:

  1. I LOVE this post! So well written with plenty of humor. This guy must have been "wound pretty tight" that he couldn't laugh at his honest mistake.


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