Thursday, December 13, 2012

Finding Samsung....

When we bought the thing, we were told it was a "SMART" phone! Stupid thing keeps getting lost, makes random calls, auto corrects with obscenities, and generally becomes a pest!

The most annoying thing it does, is unzips the pouch on my belt and jumps out. Maybe it isn't happy here, or thinks we don't like it. At any rate, it is always trying to hide from me. Take what happened a couple of months ago:

We had gone to Des Moines, Iowa (.......HHHMMMM.....maybe THAT was why......never mind....), to go shopping. There we were in Sam's Club, wandering around aimlessly (there might be a joke in there, some where). We walked around the store for what seemed hours, then finally managed to check out and head on to the next store - Walmart. Fortunately, the two stores were only about 100 yards apart.

Since we only had a limited amount of time before an appointment, we had to be conscious of the time. My lovely wife asked me "What time is it"? I USUALLY answer without looking at a clock, and generally come within 3-4 minutes, either way.

This time, however, I reached down to grab my phone outta it's pouch, to check.

Only to find that my "faithful" phone had jumped ship.....

I took my wife's phone, and combed the car and parking lot to no avail. I kept calling my phone in hopes that someone had picked it up. I even ran back to where we had parked at Sam's and failed to hear it's lonely ringer calling out, THERE, too. A trip around the inside of Sam's failed to produce results, also.

I had about given up hope, when I decided to call my wayward phone ONE LAST TIME. To my surprise, a voice came on the other end.

"GREAT!", said I, "You found my phone"!

"Yup, it's over here at the Service Desk, in Sam's."

"Excellent, I will be right there."

When I got there, the Sam's employee who found it, told me he had a hold of a bag of trash, was slinging it into the trash compactor, and heard the phone cry for help. Another 2-3 seconds, and it would have met a crushing death in the compactor. I guess someone had found it, and tossed it in the trash, instead of turning in to the service desk.

The person probably goes to church on Sunday and stands up as a "model" citizen.....

That was then....flash forward to last night. I reached for my phone in order to text my BIL, and found the thing was gonzo AGAIN. This time, I knew it had to be on our place SOMEWHERE. I grabbed Deb's phone, and headed out into the darkness, in search of my phone. It took several tries, but I heard a faint cry for help in the distance.

Now, being half deaf, I could HEAR the thing, but couldn't decipher which DIRECTION it was calling from. I felt like I was back in Iowa, again, wandering aimlessly around trying to triangulate on my phone's ringer.

After several tries, I managed to narrow it down to behind the chicken house. I dialed my number one last time, then rounded the corner of the coop. The first thing I saw was my phone, laying on the ground, face up, lights on, being terrorized by THREE cats, who thought it was a cat toy from space. They were jumping on it, batting it around, and poking it with their paws.

Of course, when they saw me, they scattered, and disavowed any knowledge of the incident....

I envisioned them felines batting the thing around while it rang, then thinking they killed it, walking away, until they heard it go off again.

Maybe I should have left them have at it - it might have taught the thing a lesson to stay in the pouch until I take it ouit.

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