Thursday, February 2, 2012

Aliens In The Barn Yard....

A few mornings ago, my lovely wife and I had to go to the Big City to do shopping. We do this once a month, and it involves doing the chores earlier, so we can get a good start - and MAYBE get home at a decent hour in the afternoon.

Usually, I have to be out in the barn at 5:30, or there abouts, in order to leave home by 8:00. This is normally not a problem during the summer months, but in winter - it can be a challenge.

And it can be SCARY, too....

On the particular morning in question, I was headed out to the barn, milk bucket in hand - by 5:30. It was pitch black out - cloud cover, new moon, no lights - just a dark, eerie morning. I did my usual routine - fed the cats, got the cow food ready for the hungry bovine, open the side door, then step back out of the way so as not to get run over by the first in to feed her face.

Well, I waited for a good 2 minutes, and STILL no cow! It was TOTALLY unheard of! NOBODY came charging through the door!

I thought this to be a little odd, so I pull out my flashlight I carry in my pocket, and head out to see why nobody showed.

Now, the flashlight I have is one of those near worthless LED jobs - it doesn't "throw" light - it just kinda leaks a dull beam out of the lens - but hey - it was cheap, and flashlights with real bulbs are getting hard to find.

At any rate, I walk outside, and head down the side of the barn with my trusty light leading the way. As I reach the end of the building, I shone the light on where I THOUGHT the cows would be (by the hay feeder), but no one was around. I was just about to give up, and head out to the pasture when I caught sight of these two LARGE eyes starring at me from about 30 feet PAST the feeder.

Then, a second set of big glowing eyes came into view about 5 feet to the right of the first. As I shone my dim light back and forth, I could almost FEEL those glowing orbs burning into me - unblinking, and keeping track of my every move....

All of a sudden, I felt the hair on the back of my neck begin to crawl - those eyes were MOVING TOWARD ME!
To make matters worse, three more sets entered the picture. It was clear to me, that I was being surrounded by these unseen beings from somewhere else - and I didn't know what their intentions were.

Suddenly - it dawned on me - they were after the cow food! I stood perfectly still as I felt them brush by me, on the way to the still opened door of the barn.

I cut through the back door of the barn, headed to the milk room, and found Clover had mysteriously appeared out of thin air onto the milking stanchion! I cautiously poked my head out the side door, shone my light around, and found the rest of the cows standing there, waiting to be fed.

As it turned out, I didn't have anything to worry about - the aliens I first saw were there to abduct the cows, and deliver them for breakfast.

Maybe next time, they can milk them for me while they're at it....

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