Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Another "Half Baked" Story....

You SHOULD be getting used to them by now...

Yesterday was a busy day on the Hillbilly Hill Farm. We had cow troubles, a run to pick up a few things, then a run to town, and some other stuff thrown in besides. All through this, my lovely wife decided she needed to grind wheat for homemade bread flour.

She'd run the crank for awhile, then do some other things, run the crank for awhile, do some more stuff, grind for a bit, etc, etc (her right arm is getting to look like Awwnuld's). It took a good part of the day, but she got her flour done so she could have homemade whole wheat bread today.

This morning, she was out in the kitchen by 7:15, mixing up bread dough and getting it ready to work with this afternoon.

As you know, once you get the dough mixed up, then you have to let it "rise" awhile. To do this, she normally puts it in the oven with just the oven light on. The heat from the bulb is enough to raise the dough in the small oven space.

The "oven light" reminds me of another story where my sister accidentally pulled the oven CLEANING handle instead of the light switch. No one knows WHY, but it happened - we had steaks in the broiler, and the oven wouldn't shut off, nor would the door open. It was a frantic few minutes before we figured out what to do to save supper - and we have a good laugh whenever we remember it.

Well - we got a good laugh this afternoon, too. Deb goes out to the kitchen about noon, and puts some chicken in the oven to bake for lunch. When the timer goes off, she announces that lunch "should be done".

Ten seconds later the dogs and I are headed to the back door when we hear "DANG IT!", "RATS" and - my personal favorite - "CRAPAZOID" coming from the kitchen. The three of us were half way to the door (because we didn't know if it was one of us who was in trouble....), when the terse language was replaced by laughter.

We cautiously tipped-toed back in to see what was the matter. Deb met me in the kitchen door way and said "you'll NEVER guess what I did!".

"Hmmmmm.....forgot to light the oven?"


"Turned it on too low or too high?"


"You lit the oven and forgot to put the food in?"


All of the above had happened before (the famous "Meat Slop" incident comes to mind...), so it wasn't that far of a stretch to have them happen again.

It was time to think outside the box, and Deb was laughing hysterically, so I knew it had to be serious.

"You put lunch in the dishwasher instead of the oven, right?"

I got a dirty look on that one, but now it's in her head, so who knows...? She HAS been known to try to put refrigerated items away in the pantry.

"Go look in the oven", she says, through the tears.

At this point, the situation is still jumbled in my head, but is becoming clearer now that I remember seeing her working with dough when I came in from the morning milking today.

I crept over, opened the oven door a crack and peered in....

I had envisions of carnage, but all I saw was a pie-plate with chicken in it, and one BIG round loaf of bread.

Evidently, she forgot the dough was in the oven raising when she turned the temp up to 425° to cook the chicken.....

What we had was a nice looking loaf, about 12" round, and 8" deep, cooked in an ungreased steel pan. We ended up cutting it loose with a frosting knife, and dumping it out of the bowl. It LOOKED good, but looks CAN be deceiving.

Half Baked Whole Wheat Moron Bread

It was a nice, golden brown color on the top, and cooked to perfection - for about 1 1/2" all the way around. The middle was still raw and cold.

Even the dogs were mystified. I looked them in the eyes and said: "Yup, guys....just when you THINK you've seen it all, mom does something new." Both of them barked and sneezed in agreement.

After eating a few pieces of what we could, we managed to scoop out the raw center as much as possible, and dump it in a bread pan. It might not work like it should - or LOOK like it should, but we're gonna try it anyhow - the chickens aren't going to have ALL the good out of this event.

Deb called it her "Half-baked, Whole-wheat, Moron Bread" (on a side note, she had to ask how to spell "moron"....). She says she's willing to share the recipe with anyone who is willing to have a go at it.

If the loaf turns out at all, we'll have a "Twice Baked" ending to a "Half Baked" story.


  1. I'd be laughing harder if I had not done the same thing on TWO (yes, two) occasions.


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