Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Can't Take Her Nowhere, Part Two....

It NEVER fails, I can't take my lovely wife ANYWHERE without an "incident! She's either insulting some guy's "manhood", ripping something up, or just plain acting goofy (since she turned 40, "Goofy" is her new middle name....).

Well, the latest happening (HOPEFULLY) takes the cake!

There we were, at the VA Hospital in Omaha, Nebraska.....

We had just finished with a check-up in one of the "clinics", and were headed back to the car. It was a rather cool(ish) day, so my bride was wearing her jacket. Well, at least it was cool when we went INTO the hospital, now, an hour later, the temp had risen enough to make the extra clothing too hot. It was time for my wife to remove her jacket. NORMALLY, she just climbs into the car, THEN announces that she "should have taken her jacket off".

I SHOULD have know something was amiss when she stopped by the hood of the car, set down her purse, and began stripping in the parking lot. I asked, "What are you doing", to which came the reply - "It's starting to get hot, and I needed my jacket off."

Ok - fine nothing wild and crazy so far, except I DID comment on the fact she was "doomed" because she remembered her jacket BEFORE getting into the car.

Little did I know....

So, she tosses her now liberated coat into the back seat of the car, and we both get in and prepare to leave. We had been underway for about a minute when this GAWD-AWFUL sound made it's appearance -


I about swerved off the road! I couldn't believe my ears! I looked at my lovely wife with eyes WIDE OPEN, and an incredulous look on my face. Her wide-eyed stare back told me she was thinking the same thing.

"It came from YOUR side of the car!", exclaimed I, "You can't blame THIS one on ME!"

Her wide-eyed glare turned to roaring laughter as she TRIED to explain herself. Once she caught her breath, through tears, she told me it wasn't her - it was HER JACKET!


Now I HAVE heard everything. At least I blame it on the dog. She tries the lame excuse of blaming an unsuspecting inanimate object. I'm sure that if the dog were with us, she MIGHT have come up with something better than her coat. I DO have to hand it to her, though, she gets an "A" for originality.

Once she figured out that I wasn't buying the jacket story, she came up with an new one.

"It was the sign in the back window. The jacket caught it, and took it out of the window. As it slid down the door, it made that sound...."

Ok. Wink, Wink....

Nice try, Dear.

We laughed about it almost all the way home (and even into this morning...). I'm also adding it to my "Top 25 Weird Excuses" file, just so she can't use it again.
While I'm still not totally convinced it was that sign, I AM willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

If only because we didn't have to roll the windows down when it happened.


While all this took place as written (or as close as possible), she DID prove her innocence, and came out of the whole thing smelling like a rose....


  1. I'M not the one who will blame anything and everything for that little bodily function...YOU are, had I REALLY done it, I would have admited it, unline you who blames the dog, or anything else that is round at the time! LOL It WAS funny though!! *giggle*

  2. I am easily confused... DID the jacket slip out an open window?

  3. I have a cat who waits til he gets onto my lap to fart... I get blamed... D#$%^&*(( Cat! :)


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