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Friday, July 15, 2011

Requiem For A Fan....


Box W. Fan

It's with a heavy heart that I must announce the death of Box Window Fan. He went to meet someone else instead of his maker on 10 July 2011 at the ripe old age of 23.

Born during the heat wave of 1988, Box, was thrust into a life of hard labor early on. He never had a "childhood" so to speak - having spent only a short few days on the shelf at Kmart. Box never really knew who is parents were, but made several friends on the boat from China. His friends have always said he had a "light and airy" outlook on life. Everyone agrees, he was one cool dude.

After leaving his new found buddies at Kmart, Box became an "apartment dweller" in a low-income housing complex. Little pay, little sleep, and constant work added age to Box, but he kept working tirelessly through it all. It wasn't until his late teens (old age for his family), that Box looked forward to retirement on the farm.

He enjoyed being around the animals and causing havoc with the local Barn Fly Union (Local 666), and loved to see them struggle against his air currents.

Later as his time grew near, Box found himself short of breath, but still kept plugging along. His many relatives urged him to slow down, but his world kept spinning at the same speed. Toward the end, he did slow down a bit, but not for the lack of trying.

Unfortunately, Box W. Fan succumbed to Heat Stroke sometime during the late afternoon of 10 July 2011, while at work in the barn. After it was determined that he was "Brain Dead", the family requested that he be unplugged from life support for the final time that evening.

Per his request, he will be dismantled and scrapped.

His survivors of the immediate family include: His wife of 10 years Floor A. Fan, two sons, Oscillate R. Fan and wife Compute R. Fan, of the home, Peddy Stall Fan and wife Ceiling Fan, also of the home, 6 grand Fans, and a cousin who is currently installed at the county jail. Countless others will mourn his passing, as will the cows in the barn.

The Flies, however, will be celebrating....

The family asks that in lieu of flowers, that memorials be donated to Future Fans of Ammerica, or the Fan Heat Stroke Prevention Group, to help combat this deadly desase, which is the number one killer of fans besides Electric shock.

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