Saturday, February 25, 2012

Horace The Spider.....

I'm telling you this now - it actually took place last summer - because I had forgotten about it until recently. You know - you hit 50, and your memory starts to go.

Anyhoo - it was a warm summer day, there I was, minding my own business working on the computer in my office. I decided it was time to get a glass of water, so I mosied into the kitchen.

Peaches was milling about in there, mostly lounging in a sunbeam. It's always odd to me, when it's 95° outside, and the crazy dog likes to work on her tan in a sunbeam....most people head for the shade.

Well, on this particular afternoon, something caught my eye - a GIGANTIC, HUGE, furry MONSTER in the middle of the kitchen floor! It was big enough to swallow the dog - head first - in one gulp....

OK - it was a Wolf Spider about as big around as a fifty-cent piece....

It just LOOKED bigger.

Peaches was apparently not as "asleep" as I thought she was, because she saw the "monster" about the same time as I did, and she got up to go investigate. This is the same goofball who molested an injured Bumble Bee, got stung in the mouth, and swelled up to where she looked like Joe Camel.

Obviously, she isn't as bright as most people - she got up and headed TOWARD the spider (I, on the other hand, was moving AWAY from it....).

I decided that I was safe, since the dog and spider seemed occupied with each other, and not me. I watched as Peaches walked over to the offending creature, sniffed it, then swiped at it with her paw a couple of times.

That's when the spider decided that the better part of valor was to get out of dodge, and started to try to get away, and to the safety of under the cabinet. That's when Peaches jumped into it's path, swiped at it again, and turned it back toward the center of the floor.

This spelled doom for the spider...

After a couple of near misses, the spider finally decided the outcome of this encounter wasn't going to end well for it, so it stood still for a few seconds, hoping Peaches would loose interest.

And it actually WORKED! Peaches sniffed at the now still spider, then turned to walk away.

Unfortunately, the spider was impatient, and started to walk the other direction before Peaches lost COMPLETE interest - and it WALKED, instead of scurrying away.

At this point, Peaches was loosing HER patience, and decided enough was enough, time to end the game. As the spider slowly walked away, Peaches came up beside it, raised her hand, and held it in the air for a few seconds - as if to offer the spider one LAST chance to escape.

Spiders never were too bright...he kept on his slow stroll toward safety, when the game ended. Peaches circled her hand a few times in the air to gain momentum, then gave him a good, hard SQUISH.

When all was done, she lifted her hand from the now flat spider, sniffed her fingers, sniffed him, let out a good sneeze, then went back to her sunbeam, and continued her tanning session.

That left ME to dispose of the "body".

Oh well, I figure it's better to have to deal with a DEAD spider, then have to deal with a LIVE spider......


  1. You are such a great story teller!

    Those Doxies do love the sun, don't they?

  2. I loved this story! I always let my cats and dogs deal with all the creepy crawlies in the house. Sometimes, if there is a huge spider/whathaveyou in a room with no animal, I will go snatch a sleeping kitty and toss them near it. It has worked out quite well. :)


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